The Fear Factor

Desperation makes people do all kinds of things they would normally never consider.

A mom afraid of losing a bitter custody battle hides her daughter in plain sight, only to be arrested a few hours later, ensuring the very consequences that she was so adamantly fighting against.

A teenage girl steals money from her parents to pay for an abortion she will regret for years to come, all because she allowed emotional desperation to please her boyfriend to overcome her good judgment & strict morality.

A normally quiet and successful student buys a term paper on line because he was goaded into partying all weekend and didn't finish his, which ends up resulting in a failing grade and expulsion from school.

A husband and father realizes that his financial obligations are beyond his income and begins to syphon off just a small, but ever increasing, amount of money from the investment funds he manages.

There are numerous examples I could cite, but you get the idea. Fear shows its face in many ways and on many occasions in life. We borrow trouble, camp on the "what ifs", and "awfulize" our circumstances. Small things become giant obstacles, our thoughts get muddied and clouded, & our nightmare of losing control kicks in. We begin to take matters into our own hands, manipulating & orchestrating. Our emotions run wild and pretty soon we are beyond the point of rational decision-making. We grasp at any solution, viable or not, which we hope can get us out of our crisis.

The truth is, we're not any different from many Bible characters who dealt poorly with their fears.
Consider Adam & Eve who were so frightened of the consequences of their poor decisions that they actually tried to hide from God and take care of their sin problem themselves.

Abraham was so afraid of what might happen if he told the truth that he lied about Sarah being his wife, claiming her to be his sister instead.

And then there was David who manipulated a murder in order to cover up his adulterous affair with a married woman.

Skip to the New Testament and the news is not any better.  Peter is so threatened by a little girl's questions and the possible consequences that he lies about even knowing His Lord.

A woman, desperate to save her sick child, followed Jesus and begged Him for mercy. When her pleading was ignored, she groveled at His feet and even argued with His answer in order to enlist His healing power for her daughter.

Fear causes us to do desperate, sometimes irrational things. Instead of manipulating our circumstances and trying to do everything in our own way, God would have us Trust. Sounds so simple, doesn't it. God simply wants us to trust Him. He knows the path ahead, the details, & the course around, over, or through the obstacles. He knows our weaknesses, our failings, & our missteps. He has already determined a course of action that takes all of our faults into account, weaving a tapestry of our lives that includes our blackest circumstances and His brightest rescues. He has redeemed our folly and is perfectly willing and capable of turning our worst mistake into something He can use for good, either ours or someone else's.

Our "light and momentary troubles" often seem like never-ending hurricanes. We can't see the end and solutions evade us...but that's ok! God sees. And He not only just sees, but His all-encompassing love for us makes the way clear, if we ask Him to show us, & allows for us to walk through even our darkest valleys with indescribable peace. We can cast our cares on Him, release our pent-up emotions, & rest in His comforting arms. There is no need for us to fear, for His perfect love for us eliminates its need.

If you are in the grip of fear through overwhelming circumstances, emotional turmoil, or the uncertainty of the "what ifs" of tomorrow, let God break you free. Turn to Him with all of your broken pieces and He will turn the shattered fragments into a beautiful mosaic that will not only be a joy to you but a witness to those around you. He can do it... let Him!

What's so good about it?

He had just had an intimate Passover celebration with His 12 closest friends. After demonstrating to them what true servanthood was meant to be by washing their feet, He sent one of them out to finish what he had already set in his heart to do...betray Him.

Leaving the quiet communion of that upper room, He and his remaining friends walked through the city and nearby vineyards. As they went, Jesus gave His final message to them..."if you remain in Me & I in you, you will bear much fruit. Apart from Me you can't do anything."  The disciples couldn't grasp it all but they knew something was about to happen. Jesus had told them He was leaving, going to prepare a place for them but would return and come back for them. They walked along with many questions but still contentedly, tired from long days and their recent dinner.

When they arrived, Jesus went off to pray by Himself, as was His custom. He asked the disciples to pray as well but they soon found themselves overcome by weariness. When He returned to them, they were asleep. They could not have known His agony. He was looking ahead to unspeakable horrors which would end in death, but to them it was just another night. And then it began...torch lights blazed through the garden and the sounds of shouting disrupted the peacefulness of the night.  Soldiers & Pharisees, all led by one of their own?  What was happening?  In their panic and confusion, one of them actually wielded a sword but Jesus quickly intervened.  Betrayal by the one & desertion by the rest was His friends' reaction as He was led away. 

Trial after trial He held His ground, refusing to submit to their questioning. Beatings, ridicule, flogging, & mockery were intertwined with more interrogation. A crown of thorns & a purple robe were put on Him in answer to His "crimes" & although He was not judged as guilty, the determined crowd would allow no punishment other than crucifixion.

Beaten mercilessly, to where He was unrecognizable by His own mother, Jesus was made to carry His own cross through the streets where the crowds continued to cheer & mock Him. The nails, the slamming of the cross into the ground, the continual taunting...none of this was yet the worst. Knowing all the while He could have stopped it with a single word, He pressed on. "For the joy that was set before Him, He endured the cross.."

Finally, the culminating horror occurred. With the sins of the world on Him, separation from the Father brought the ultimate sorrow. He had endured a night of extreme humiliation and unbearable physical pain but this last was the worst. To be torn apart from the Father as He suffered under the weight of our sins was the final & ultimate anguish. It was now finished. He looked toward heaven, having accomplished what He set out to do, & relinquished His spirit to the only one worthy of receiving it...His Father.

What was so good about all that? Friday was horrific... but He knew Sunday was yet to come!

In the time of creation, when God would finished one more days' work, He would say, "It is good." Likewise, I am confident that as Jesus completed His task & provided our reconciliation the Father looked down and said, "It is good."  He took our punishment so that we could be free. "It is good."  Satan has been defeated although he thinks he has won. "It is good."  My creation has been redeemed. "It is good."

On that glorious Sunday, the tomb was empty and Jesus was alive. The new beginning was now in motion. Believe, confess, receive...a new way to God. "It is good."  A new commandment to go into the world and tell others..."It is good." A new future, a new relationship, a new way of life..."It is good." 

Jesus did His part & when He finished the plan it was all good. Our choice is to accept what He did on our behalf...then it will be good for us as well.

What's so good about it?  Everything!

Talk about a "practical" illustration!

We are pet people.  Throughout our marriage we have had dogs, usually at least 2! Then one day I was lamenting about not having had a sweet little kitty since childhood (and if you knew my mom you'd  know how brief a span that was!) and the next thing I knew we were standing in a friend's living room where a tiny little black furball had just adopted my husband. Right away, our 75 pound dog found out who was in charge. It is often quoted that cats were once worshipped as gods in Egypt & they have never relinquished that title. One barely audible hiss followed by a hit-but-miss swipe and from that day on the kitty got a wide berth! This tiny little creature ruled the house & continues to rule to this day, although he is a bit more formidable now that he's over 20 pounds! No matter what other creatures may come and go, human or otherwise, his singular focus never changes...he makes sure he has total access to all things & can be comfortable! Closed doors are out of the question and if you want it "kitty safe" you'd better put it behind cupboard doors or high up without climbable access.

Our Golden Retriever, however, is just the opposite. He could easily scale the baby gates we secure him behind but never tries. He is content just to be where you are, lay at your feet (or in your lap if you'll let him) & follow you around. He isn't a bit possessive, letting the cat eat from his dish at will, and welcoming "intruders" with frantic tail wagging & not so much as a bark (which makes him a miserable excuse for a watchdog!). He loves attention but isn't intrusive about it, & even other dogs are ok if they don't cause a fuss. His enthusiasm in greeting other creatures has at times caused him a few problems, like when he thought a skunk was another "cat friend", and we had to introduce him gently to the folks' wolf but these setbacks were quickly forgotten & he has always remained an easy-going, good natured member of the family!

Now don't go all religious and get offended, but as I was watching our pets yesterday I was struck by how much their behaviors mirror that of many Christians...(note that I said Many and not ALL)! Some Christians are very exclusive and prideful about their "position" thinking that somehow they have earned God's affection & favor. They stay watchful but aloof until they have a need or want to be center of attention and then they are right there. They can be very affectionate, "purring" loudly & allowing you to give them attention, but when they're over it, they're gone. God is akin to their personal assistant - meeting needs, answering prayers, opening & closing doors - but He is noticed more for His doings than His Being! New attendees are immediately taken note of and are ok as long as they don't disrupt the status quo or demand a change or realignment of position. Then the "fur" flies...toes get stepped on and claws come out, literally! Most of the time, these are the Christians who have been saved since childhood or come from "Christian" homes. They know the drill, have the language down, & often have attained position through longevity rather than gifting. You all know who I'm talking about! Don't dare sit in "their" pew or try to insert yourself into one of their domains, even if all you want to do is help!! Some refer to them as pillars, which they can be if their hearts are right, but often they are just rigid signposts, intent on directing & controlling the actions of everyone else in the church, including the pastors!

On the opposite side of the coin is a person who has "Retriever-like" qualities! They are loyal, always right there to support or encourage, and never try to weigh out your intentions. They wait eagerly for assignments & are content to sit for hours just to listen and to be taught. Their agenda is simply to show love to others & be part of the family. They gladly share anything they have or any talent they possesses without hesitation and don't fight for position, even though they may have more training or education than the one in the position. After a brief introduction, they welcome others into "their" church home and easily adapt to changes in routine or environment, including the addition of others to "their" ministry. Exuberance sometimes gets them in trouble...they don't always think things through in their haste to get things done and often make messes that the more mature person would never make, but they are sincerely sorry afterwards & quickly try to make amends, if to do nothing more than apologize. Newer Christians are often like this - excited, always trying to serve and learn, always waiting and wanting to do more! They can make mistakes, in judgment and in execution, & are often criticized by the "seasoned" believers, but their hearts are usually right & more often than not they quickly repent. Their foremost desire is just to sit at their Master's feet and do His bidding. They're just happy to be there!

Well, there you have it. Although I see the good and bad of both our pets, I love them both & our household would not be the same without each of them. As far as the analogy goes, I want to be focused, mature, and unswerving in my intentions to use my gifts & talents regardless of others' criticisms or challenges. I want to be mindful of my position in Christ, never using it as a club but as a beacon. I want to open closed doors and not allow obstacles to derail my calling. I want to be faithful as a pillar, so that others can count on me to complete tasks and fulfill assignments with excellence & efficiency. And I want to always go to God  with my needs, desires, & challenges. On the other hand, I want to always keep a singular focus, not on my comfort, but on my purpose of service to God and worship of God.  I want to easily and graciously accept others into the family, and adjust my position and attitudes accordingly. I don't want to be territorial or possessive - none of it is really mine anyway! I want others to overlook my mistakes and mix mentoring with praise for effort, rather than criticize!  I want to have the good characteristics of each, while minimizing the faults!!!

So there you have it - the practical illustration provided by our family pets with the thought-provoking look at ourselves in their mirror. Take what applies and just smile over the rest. It was just a momentary & personal insight, and you'd have to know our pets to see how really valid the analogy is!!
Blessings!

There & Back Again!

      This weekend Dan & I went to Seattle. Well, I should say, we were in the general vicinity of Seattle. When asked what we saw while we were there, I had to respond that I saw a coffee shop, a Starbucks, and a hotel room.  The purpose of our trip was that Dan had appointments and a seminar  so we drove up there, he did his business, I read and rested, and then we drove home. Although I am quite sure there are many wonderful things to see and do there we missed all of them because we were just there to do a job...What a shame.
      As I was thinking about it this morning, I was reminded of how many of us live our lives that way. We are constantly "doing our jobs" with single-minded focus. Now there's nothing wrong with being serious and working hard, but we often miss out on lots of wonderful and amazing things that God has provided for us along the way, just because we never take time to put our heads up from the grindstone and breathe! We trudge along, being efficient & getting things done, & never enjoy the journey! I am quite sure this is not how God created us to live.
      I can already hear some of you saying, "But time is short and we have so much to do..." And while that is true, we function a lot better if we take some time to relax, regroup, refresh, & play. A little break from routine and business actually makes us more productive during work time.
A friend that I was visiting was actually talking about this very thing. She and her husband are starting a Sunday night potluck and game night. When she was considering it, she had the typical "no way" reaction first - I won't start my week with everything done...I will have to work harder the rest of the time...etc. But in the final analysis, they decided to go ahead with it anyway. If all we ever do is work, life is boring and we soon feel resentful, not to mention tired!  Ok, so we have to work a little more efficiently and perhaps harder when we are working, but at least we will have something to look forward to - building relationships and just plain having fun! Sounds like a good trade-off to me.
      Another friend was lamenting that the last time she really laughed was so long ago that she can't even recall it! Whoa! I can easily see how we get caught in that kind of rut, but is it God's way? It bring to mind the old song "Is that all there is?"  If work & responsibilities are truly all there is, we are surely a bunch of miserable creatures. God says in His presence is fullness of joy...so what is that saying & how does our witness look if we never experience it? He has surely given us lots of opportunities for fellowship & fun along with the ministry He has chosen for each of us to do. We just have to look around, be a little creative perhaps, & take the time to enjoy each experience. Honestly, He won't be mad at you for a few hours here and there to stop working and take a breather...He knows how badly we all need them!
      Thankfully, we are going to make another trip to Seattle in a month. I know that the work will still require time and effort. But I also intend to make sure that we are there long enough to at least do one special thing while we're up there. It may be a simple thing that doesn't consume lots of time or extra travel, but it will be one fun thing that we get to do together to build those memories & share some fun! 
      So what's the next fun thing on your agenda? If there isn't anything, get busy & find something to add to your schedule. You will be so glad you did, and so will everyone around you!!

Love & Logic Revisited

My school staff is going to attend a seminar entitled "Love and Logic for Educators."  When I asked about attending, although I am only a substitute, the school counselor said, "You already know and apply the principles that will be taught. You are one of very few teachers I have witnessed that has a natural gift for teaching that combines giving and requiring respect, along with teaching responsibility & accountability."  While that made me a little embarrassed, I also realized that the compliment was a tribute to my mentors and parents. Love as a baseline and logic as a method is not a new or complicated method of teaching, parenting, or of building relationships. In fact, it is as ancient and proven as the Bible itself and the first parent, our Father God!

When God created Adam and Eve, He gave them respect, love, & the ability to have unlimited potential to enjoy life. He also gave them boundaries & responsibilities.  When they crossed over the line He didn't punish them in anger, but held them accountable to the choices they had made. He did for them what they could not do, in providing a covering for their sin, and then He initiated protection strategies so that they couldn't further inflict harm on themselves by removing their access to the Tree of Life. I am quite sure it grieved His heart to see the injurious choice they made to give in to temptation, but His love never changed & He knew that without free will to choose they would not be able to have any type of quality relationship with Him. Without choice, they would be no better than "yes men".

Throughout the Scriptures, the principles of respect, accountability, and responsibility are taught. Every Word & every action has consequences. Our choices are truly ours to make, but we also have to accept responsibility for them. Ranting and raving at God or others does not change the fact that we are accountable for what we do and say. In fact, God is going to judge our behavior according to the Word He has given us to follow, so we better know what He requires!

There is an amazing lack of understanding of these principles. Parents have given total control over to their children with staggering consequences. So many of today's kids are disrespectful, challenging, & feel an inappropriate entitlement. Much of this comes from the generation which was taught that we parents should strive to be our children's friends.  What a shame! Because of this ridiculous notion, children have few boundaries and even less respect for elders, authority, or rules. They have been allowed to "express their feelings" in language that should cause them shame, and instead of providing appropriate and safe boundaries, so many parents of today's children arm them with excuses or demands .

It doesn't seem that complicated to me. Take the power back.  Set rules, make boundaries, & lovingly apply appropriate consequences. It doesn't take anger or abuse. It takes consistency and love. Earn respect by being fair & applying rules equally to all. Don't fall into the trap of "grayness" that looks at everything with the lenses of subjectivity. And be willing to stick to your boundaries.

Logic dictates that the punishment fits the crime (Thank you, James Dobson) and disrespect is not allowed. Challenges to authority are met with firm strength and appropriate action. No coddling or rule-bending should be acceptable except as an appropriate response to true repentance.

As an example...when my teens were dating, curfews were flexible but enforced. If we agreed on a time, it was expected that they be in at that time unless a phone call told us that there were some mitigating circumstances beyond their control. If time came and went without their arrival, the next time they went out, their departure was delayed by whatever amount of time they "owed" for being late previously, There was no anger, bartering, screaming, or disrespect. It was just how it was and they honored it (or didn't and paid the price).  That's love and logic. We set the rules for their protection, allowed for exceptions when appropriate, and held them accountable. It was always done in their best interest, and in love. It was how I was raised & I passed it on to them.

So many Christians today also need love & logic training. We want the blessings without the accountability. We scream and disrespect God, blaming Him when things don't go our way, and yet we don't want to follow His "old fashioned, black and white" rules. Faithfulness has given way to convenience & rules are seen as suggestions, only appropriate when they fit our desires. We manipulate and smudge the boundaries God has set, never taking into consideration the love that set them there.  What a shame! Instead of excuses, we should strive for obedience. Instead of whining, we should look for what He is teaching. Instead of demanding, we should be giving thanks & praise for our many blessings. Instead of seeing how close we can get to the edge, we should be running full speed towards our loving God & His protection.

Submission, authority, accountability, obedience, respect, & consequences...not always our favorite words but ones that will guide us, protect us, & grow us up into the loving & "logical"  Christians that God has designed us to become. I know I have a ways to go...Will you choose to grow along with me?
Blessings...

Reminder from a Clever Mama

 

     A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around the garden. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over & the throw rug was against one wall.  In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel. The family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

    He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel...

     She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'

     She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?...
     ''Yes," was his incredulous reply..
      She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.

 

     Just as this husband didn’t appreciate his wife’s hard work until she stopped doing it, I wonder if we sometimes forget to thank God for holding our worlds together...and how loud we would cry if He let go just for one day!! Today, instead of looking at all the things that are wrong, Thank God for each and every blessing in your life whether it’s big or small. He deserves our grateful praise, rather than always just hearing our list of complaints, needs, and wants!!

 

Blessings...

 

**Thanks, Marsha, for sharing this story. I don't know where you got it but it sure makes the point!

Hope That Should "Spring Eternal"

            Webster’s Dictionary defines hope as  “a feeling that what is wanted will happen; a desire accompanied by expectation”.  Feelings are emotions that we have when we analyze our circumstances. They change as our situation changes or as our perspective alters. Desires also change because of many different factors. So even though we have expectation that they will come to pass, we are still left to wrestle with which desires we really want and how best to make them a reality. I have lots of desires…for myself, my family, my friends, …but there is very little expectation that they will all be fulfilled. When I cling to Webster’s definitions,  “hope” seems pretty variable & inconsistent. That doesn’t sound like a characteristic God would want to develop in us.

            The world would tell us that hope is like positive thinking…you wish and speak and act as if something is going to come to be & then it will!  You just have to deter negative emotional reactions & anxious thoughts.  Look on the positive…reach for the stars…your dreams are out there – go get them (as a local insurance company encourages us to do).  In fact, I read a very popular book a few years ago that promised me that the universe is just waiting for me to get the right frame of mind so that it can grant all of my desires! Sounds amazing but in the midst of a struggle, positive thinking is hard to do & results are rarely instantaneous, universe at my service or not!  Sure, I’d like to have a magic lamp to rub in a hardship so that my problems would instantly be solved as my wishes are granted, but in spite of the way many Christians pray, God is not our genie and He doesn’t live to grant out petty desires. He has such greater, more intricate plans than we do!

            God does tell us to hope in Him. What does that mean? It means that we lay our lives at His feet, struggles & victories, and we surrender to His plan. We have to realize that the outcome that He is working toward is not our comfort or convenience but our maturity & obedience. Our hope is not in our gifts or even our manipulations but in Him – His abilities, characteristics, & attributes. He is not dependent on anyone or anything other than Himself, & He has it all figured out. We can HOPE in the fact that victory, rather than just success, will come & He is powerful enough to even incorporate my failures into the plan so that there’s never a need for Plan B.

            No matter what your circumstances or situation, HOPE in God. Believe that He has your best interest foremost in His heart. Surrender to His will, knowing that He has ordained only that which leads to Your best, whether you see it or not. Refuse to allow negative energy, emotions, or thoughts to drag your spirit into a state of fear, doubt, anger or unbelief. Wait, watch, & anticipate with expectation of Victory!! He really can do more than we could ever ask or think (Eph. 3:20!)

            Faith, HOPE, & love – the triad of God’s desire for us! That kind of hope is the only kind that should & will “spring eternal”. The question is just whether you will allow it to spring eternal in you!

Blessings…