My Daddy & me

      June 18th was my Dad's birthday. Although he has been gone for 17 years, I will always feel a certain loss, a hole in my heart, that will never be filled by anything or anyone else. As I was reflecting on days past, my heart overflowed with sweet memories.  I thought of the many times we walked along the pathway at Heisler Park, just talking and enjoying the sun, or  when we were sitting out by the pool in the backyard. I loved having him at our sons' football games, or going with him to Dodger games. I loved how he took me on my first official "date" and treated me like the most special "grownup" lady in the world, (I was 13 at the time) telling me that any guy that didn't treat me that way was not worth my time! I enjoyed our evening chats when I was home from college & I remember the tears he tried to hide at my graduation, just like the ones he brushed away when he saw his first grandson for the first time! Special times, special memories...I miss those times a lot and although I know he's happier now in a "better place", I would love to be able to be with him again. But it wasn't events, times, or places that made our bond so special - it was our relationship.
      What I miss the most about him is the person he was on the inside. While he had a "John Wayne" exterior, Dad was really a softie. He never took for granted that his life had been blessed & that made him compassionate and caring towards others. He was gentle in ways that were often overlooked, but not unnoticed by those closest to him. He didn't always look at the practical side of things and rarely made a decision based solely on facts. He was a heart person. 
      Because he was loyal, he was my "safety net" and I never feared anything that life could throw at me because I knew he would always come to my defense or my aid. The security found in that kind of loyalty is unmatched by any amount of "things" or finances. It's a blanket that wraps around you in the most horrific circumstances that shelters your heart and tells you it will be okay.
      Because he was always on my side, I knew he would always listen and respond with my best interests at heart. He was disappointed in my choices at times, but never in Me. He always stood with me and I never felt judged or condemned. It was very freeing to be able to be real and even vulnerable. We could talk about anything and everything, the heavy or the trivial, and sometimes hours would pass as minutes. He was very well educated but never made others feel inferior.  . 
      Most of all, I always felt loved. Dad would have quickly, without a thought, given his life up for me and I knew it. He would have willingly sacrificed himself if it would have been needed for my protection or care. He wouldn't have hesitated. And that love was not conditional either. He didn't love me because he had to, or because of my choices, or because...He just loved me. I knew there was never anything that would change that love or alter it. Nothing I did or didn't do would break our bond because it wasn't built on feelings, but relationship.
      As I have ministered to young women through the years, I find many who have never known this kind of love from a father. Because of their past, they are hesitant to believe in God as a father. Experience tells them that God must be harsh, demanding, judgmental, critical, and abusive. They have to be shown that there are other "dads" who are not like theirs...that God is the ultimate good Father who loves unconditionally, always desires their best, and will always be there. He is on their side and even sacrificed His own son on their behalf. They must come to see that it's about relationship and not feelings. What they do or don't do has consequences, but His love for them does not change...not ever!  
      With each opportunity I have to share about my Father God in this way, I am thankful again that Dad was who he was and that God gave me such a gift. It is a priceless one that will always shape and mold who I am, what I do, and what I believe. So even though he is no longer physically here with me, he continues to impart into my life...and for that I am eternally blessed!!