I have never been abused, thankfully, so as I sat watching Jaycee Dugard's interview last night I was stuck with her poise and calmness as she talked about her ordeal. I can't imagine the horror of an 11 year old being taken, chained, and manipulated as she was. From Ken and Barbie to childbirth at age 14, Jaycee has every right to be bitter, angry, & vengeful. He took so much from her - her childhood, teen years, innocence, a host of activities that she would have enjoyed, education, ...but instead of ranting and raving in indignation, I heard her say something that struck a chord. She said, "I'm not going to give him one more day of my thoughts or emotions!" While she disavowed any belief in a "higher power", she understands something powerful. Holding on to anger and bitterness is like hugging a porcupine. We're the ones that end up getting the worst of it! When we allow ourselves to live in unforgiveness and anger, the object of our hatred still has a kind of control over us. It certainly wouldn't hurt her abuser if she lived the rest of her life in a victim mentality,...and as she said, "He would continue to win!" But because she refuses to let that happen, she has begun to break the psychological chains that he held her in. She's looking forward, not back. She's speaking out to give encouragement and hope to other victims. She's going through the process of healing, painful as it is, and facing her fears as they come. She's using her experience to broaden the help available to victims by including the families that have also been traumatized. What happened to her was not fair, just, right, or even imaginable but it happened and she's using it to make positive things happen, both for herself and others.
So it is with life. Some of the things that happen are not fair - illness, abuse, major financial upheaval, ...but we can choose how we respond to them. We can take them to heart and become slaves to their influence or we can realize that the things that happen to us are not US and they don't determine how the rest of our lives will go; they're just circumstances. They can become unbreakable chains that forever hold us in bitter anguish or stepping stones to new opportunities.
Jesus endured unspeakable circumstances and could have executed swift justice...in fact, others scoffed at the fact that He didn't. But His ultimate sacrifice was to offer forgiveness. He knew there was a greater plan, a higher calling, than to take revenge on His abusers. The final goal outweighed the immediate desire for payback. He knew that the devil's defeat, and our salvation, rested in His completion of the plan. The knowledge of that allowed Him the grace to finish what had been planned before time, His willing sacrifice.
I don't know why God allowed Jaycee to go through the trauma that she did - certainly not because He didn't love her. He did, and does. I do know that He will use it for good in her life if she will let Him, and His plan for her goes far beyond anything she can see. (Romans 8:28; Jer. 29:11)
And I do know that whatever you have gone through, or are currently going through, He is allowing for your benefit, your ultimate good. Trust Him and eventually you will see something greater, something amazing, that has come out of it. After all, He is the master of turning mourning into Gladness & sorrow into Comfort and Joy! (Jer. 31:13)
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